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How his funders didn’t want me to support a joint conference for fear that I would rally the people of color attendees. Was Mom advocating for a love marriage with a white man? It’ll become me teaching my culture and experience. ” “It’s not that I don’t want to get married,” I said. You wonder if your first date outfit says attractive or exudes cheap.

How they were scared of communities of color gaining power, even in a progressive organizing space. It will be a constant reminder of his white privilege and the lack of mine. Preferably, some kind of brown.” “Okay,” Mom sighed in defeat. “I just want to find some who is smart, and political, and who is good. I know they exist, because I see all these older women married to really good guys, but you know? All I find are the stupid ones.” “Yeah, men are stupid anyways.” I could hear the hopelessness in her voice. You live your life you die, and people remember you for what, 6 months? When he orders food for you, you pretend that you know what you are eating, that chewy calamari or slimy oysters.

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Don’t talk about family vacations as a child – because your only family vacations involved seeing extended family in Bangladesh. ” Maybe I’ve been doing this dating thing all wrong. The crushes I developed were the same crushes that all the girls in my grade school developed: on blond, blue-eyed, athletic, popular boys. The thing was, as a child of immigrants in the 80s, the good Bangladeshi Muslim boys in my age range were few and far between.During those years, I was also learning about what it means to be a person of color and how white supremacy plays out in the U. In the petri dish of our relationship, I noticed how his white privilege compared to my lack thereof. Though it was comforting to be in a relationship, I still had to explain a lot of what it meant for me to feel exoticized, persecuted, and marginalized.I had overwhelming student loans, made much less money then him, and in those years right after September 11, I stopped being able to fly and was harassed on those Washington, D. Even I couldn’t quite grasp what was happening to my South Asian and Muslim communities – how could he could ever understand? People haven’t forgetten about Gandhi.” *** When you are dating as a woman of color, it’s a struggle. You wonder what your significant other will say when they see the peeling paint on the walls of your parents’ house, or the roof that needs repair.

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